Vibe Check – One Week Until the AT

Por

marzo 19, 2025

After planning for the Appalachian Trail for what seems like my entire life, I am officially a week away from starting the approach to Springer Mountain. My apartment lease is over, my two-week notice is in, and my training is tapering off to become stretching and long nights of rest. Everything is coming together to lead me to the stone arch in Georgia. Now, with my gear and food packed, I figured it would be a great time to reflect on how I am feeling going into this 4-6 month long hike, contrasting these feelings now to how I felt before the Colorado Trail in 2023. Here are 7 things that I learned and feel different about this time around. A proper vibe check if you will.

Day 1 of the CT in Waterton Canyon – vibes were high

1. Preparing to be unprepared

Before hiking the Colorado Trail in summer of 2023, I had just spent over a month in Europe, primarily traveling by myself. I came back to Boulder, CO, packed up my apartment, went to three nights of Dead&Co concerts, and headed out to Waterton Canyon. Putting myself back in these three weeks between Europe and the CT, I remember feeling a ton of anxiety. I had planned to take an entire “gap year” in one summer by backpacking Europe and then the CT all in the span of three months before my September start date at my new job. Although they were both so exciting to me, in the weeks leading up to the Colorado Trail I felt like the “fun” “vacation” part of my summer was over and now I had to go to war.

I know this is dramatic, but I was mourning my once-in-a-lifetime Europe trip ending and simultaneously feeling incredibly anxious that I could be biting off more than I could chew. I started training by hiking up Green Mountain, a classic Boulder climb, with nothing but dumbbell weights in my daypack. I walked for hours around my neighborhood trying to break in my first pair of trail runners, a pair of Altras that I found for $40 at Sierra Trading Post. I refrained from reading anything about the CT, not even looking at maps. My best friend handled the logistics. You see, the girl I was starting with was incredibly experienced and was spending her summer as a backpacking leader for a children’s camp. All our friends knew that if someone was going to come off the trail, it was going to be me. I was just partying in Europe and my backpacking experience before this was only a couple of overnight trips, where I remember my bag being so heavy I needed someone to help me hoist it onto my back.

I packed my gear the night before the CT, an absolute crazy thought for me now, a checklist of items I collected throughout the years. I was so grateful to my best friend for offering to pack all our food. We shipped out 6 resupply boxes using UPS a few days before leaving, and we were off.

Night before the CT when I packed my bag up for the first time (smh)

The problem quickly became that although giving my friend all this responsibility cured my anxiety at the time, on trail I quickly realized that this lack of control was a huge misstep. I needed a lot more food. Although I was carrying a large amount of food, it wasn’t enough food I wanted to eat. I had mounds and mounds of cliff bars and I didn’t even like them. I was even carrying a 3-lb bottle of honey for the first two weeks. I was hungry and in turn, miserable. We also split a lot of our gear; tent, cooking set, toiletries, first aid, etc. This is what we did on overnight trips in the past and it always worked great for us both. However, splitting our weight led to a lot of conflict between the two of us and also led me to have anxiety once on trail about if we got split up. Name of the game, I made a lot of rookie mistakes on my part that I owe to not spending the time to personally plan/research.

Now, as I prep for the AT, I feel entirely different. The main change in my emotions is my feeling of being in control and feeling confident. I know that I am capable of doing such a hike and I have some experience in my belt to back that up. For the past two years, I have been slowly upgrading and testing new gear. I have my packing strategies down to a science and I know pretty well what I need to carry vs what I don’t. (There is always more to learn) My boyfriend, Jeremiah, and myself are carrying completely separate kits. Although we plan to be together for the entire hike, I thoroughly believe there is so much power in carrying everything you need to survive on your back. If there’s one thing I learned is that thru-hiking is so, so, so mental, and for me, relying on someone else can play a giant toll in the loudness of that creepy voice in your head saying, “You can’t do this.”

I avoided preparing for the Colorado Trail because it scared me. The unknown felt overwhelming, and the fear of discovering just how unprepared I was held me back. But now, I’m doing what I can to embrace that uncertainty – preparing to be unprepared. We can only fully understand our own experiences, though we learn so much from the stories of others. Maybe that’s why we read blog posts and feel so inspired by other people’s adventures. How could I not believe in the incredible resilience of the human spirit? Even in the face of uncertainty, there’s a strength in all of us that keeps us moving forward.

2. Food motivated, like a dog

As alluded to in the last section, a huge part about the quality of my day is the quality of my food. I can make it up large climbs and big mile days if I know my dinner that night will be fire and if I have a stash of my favorite snack in my fanny pack. Power to all cold soakers but my hot coffee in the morning and warm dinner at night is the absolute HIGHLIGHT of my day. That being said, I am willing to carry extra food and snacks to keep the vibes high. I also absolutely hate feeling like I have to “ration” my food to make it to the next resupply. I usually have an extra dinner, an extra day of snacks, and lots of dried fruit and chocolate. If I am feeling extra hungry one night- two dinners for me!!

Food is weird on a thru-hike. Sometimes it feels like an absolute chore, because some days I am just not hungry. However, something I loved about the CT is how in tune with my body I became. Perhaps removing all modern distractions and doing something so physical makes us resort to our primal instincts of health and wellness. When I don’t drink enough water, I feel it in a couple of hours. When I miss a single stretch in my routine, I feel that muscle the next day. Even on my month-long thru-hike, I could feel the stages of my menstrual cycle so distinctively. Maybe most importantly, when I don’t eat enough dinner at night, the next morning I feel so weak and unmotivated.

So that is why I’m learning from my CT flops and using some of my time in limbo to plan. I regretted shipping out boxes on the CT as it eliminates a lot of opportunities to shift plans and speed up or slow down. However, we are shipping out two resupply boxes for the very beginning with a Costco haul of our favorite items. Our boxes are getting shipped to Hiawassee (62 mi – about 5 days) and Fontana Dam (165 mi. where we read the stores are very limited). I am vegetarian and some of the greatest concerns for me at this moment are eating enough food and being able to keep this up for 5 months, especially in the South. I am not sure what resupplies will be like, so these boxes give me just a bit of peace of mind while I assess the vibes and figure out what I enjoy eating/carrying. Everything after Fontana Dam will be planned as we need it. We also mailed these packages through USPS so if we decide we don’t want to open the packages yet, they can get bumped to another stop for free!

About ~5 days of food for our first resupply in Hiawassee

I learned on the CT that having the freedom to pick when you are resupplying and what you are craving is soooo amazing. I do hope that these two boxes will be a good pick-me-up in the first few weeks as we are teaching our bodies the new routine of life – walking all day every day.

3. The importance of stretching and the quest to do a split

I really truly believe the main reason I finished the CT was because of the stretching routines I completed every morning, lunch, and evening. I started doing it mostly because I was SO anxious about my body falling apart and not being able to finish, and it quickly became part of my essential routine. Now I am no yogi, but I learned that focusing on my breathing, alleviating tight muscles, and resetting my mind kept me grounded in my body and kept me motivated even when fatigue set in. Having that daily practice became a way to listen to my body and ensure I was ready for whatever was next.

This year I have also made the New Year’s resolution to do a split. I am not flexible by any means so this will take continued dedication and a set routine. I am packing a yoga mat with me since this is my first long trail hiking with a blow-up pad which I anticipate making sitting for lunch and stretching more complicated. Split progress to be updated..

4. Dealing with my anxiety, manifesting my reality

I am very lucky that my anxiety is usually much less prevalent when I am outside. Perhaps this is another reason why I am setting out on such a trek. For some reason, I am a lot more effective at calming my mind down when I am hiking or standing on dirt. Someone once told me that the Earth has a natural negative charge, and the theory is that by connecting to it directly , your body can neutralize excess positive charges, which may have built up due to stress, environmental factors, or artificial materials. Legend has it that by balancing your body’s electrical charge, you can reduce inflammation, improve sleep, and even lower stress. Although I don’t think this is true scientifically- spiritually, I believe it. I think it ties into a common theme of thru-hiking and also life in general, what you really truly believe becomes your reality.

This is not a foolproof science! I still get anxious. What helps me control my thoughts on an anxious day is allowing myself to be anxious and also repeating manifestations over and over until I believe them. Here are the ones I memorized to start the trail with:

I trust my body and my mind to carry me forward.
The trail provides, and I have everything I need.
I am open to learning from others and sharing the journey with all those around me.
My journey is unfolding exactly as it should.

5. First aid kits are actually kinda important

First of all, duh. But until my R2R2R Grand Canyon trip in November, I carried a first aid kit I bought from Amazon. I resupplied it on bandaids when I ran out but other than that I really did not know what was in there. I know basic first aid from babysitting in high school, but I have never done Wilderness First Response training mostly because I know if I see a blood or a bone, I’m passing out. (I’m very squeamish.) However, when I was in the Grand Canyon, one of my friends – shoutout Antsy -gave me a First Aid Kit Haul. His first aid kit was small, but thoughtful, and he said to me, “How are you supposed to use your first aid kit if you don’t know what’s in it?” Brilliant.

I have suffered some very awful injuries in the backcountry. Second-degree burns, cactus spurs, deep cuts, diarrhea, UTIs, etc. I also have learned the importance of blister management, as a hot spot could completely end a trip if not properly treated and led to walking funky. The more time you spend outside, the more time you have to learn about all the crazy things that could happen to you.

In the Jackson Hole urgent care after getting a second-degree burn from Annie’s mac and cheese before hiking the Teton Crest Trail (censored)

I once attended a talk with an ex-ski patroller and she told us about how she had to quit this job because as she was hiking for fun with her partner, she started seeing views not as only the beauty they were, but also all of the ways someone could get extremely injured. This stuck with me. Not because I want to be outside and think about everything wrong that could happen. I just think its important to realize that when we are out in the wilderness away from our modern comforts, such as a car to drive us to the hospital, we must be prepared to handle our own safety.

The show must go on! I hiked the whole trail packing out some antibacterial burn cream and clean gauze/bandages.

So, I decided it was time to do some research and make a first aid kit curated to what I need, keep me comfortable in my months-long hike, and most importantly, AID MY ANXIETY. (Credit should be given to other trek posts, specifically Anatomy of an Appalachian Trail Thru-Hiker’s First Aid Kit – The Trek, First Aid for First-Timers – The Trek, my experienced friends, and some anonymous reddit users for the advice) Not pictured is my tiny swiss army knife, teeny tweezers, and some Leukotape on my trekking poles. I also carry a Garmin InReach with an SOS button and, knock on wood with me, helicopter insurance. Disclaimer: I am NOT a nurse, I am just a girl. Perhaps I will do a post-hike review if I feel so inclined and/or change a lot.

6. Charging everything is the worst chore, and it never ends

One of the most frustrating things I dealt with on the CT was charging all my stuff. Besides my phone, which I use for my navigation, I also had to charge my Garmin InReach, headlamp, and silly little camera I brought. As if to taunt me, they all use a different charger. Most frustratingly of all, my portable charger took all night to charge and even then would not charge all the way. This was incredibly stressful for me because we only took three overnight breaks and most times our town stops were just a couple of hours. Outlets were limited and hard to find and my portable charge did not have pass-through charging (when your phone can be charged from the portable charger while your portable charger is charging), so I never had a full charge on my iPhone the entire hike. Reflecting back on it now, my charging setup was nowhere close to ideal.

Antsy charging everything outside a random visitor center on the CT

Now I am taking time to strategize a more efficient idea. I am bringing a fast-charging Anker block with two ports that can charge my devices and a portable charger at the same time, a multi-cable charger for all my devices, and a portable charger that is smaller in size, but will charge quicker. Charging is such a little thing when packing for most other trips, but it is essential on a thru-hike because when your limited battery dies, so does your lifeline.

7. “The end of a melody is not its goal.”

To end this rant of an article, I am trying to let go of my desire for control and allow this trek to lead me as its planned. Besides our shuttle to the trailhead and two resupplies, there are no other plans. No end-date deadline. Nowhere to be. I hope to take time to enjoy my hike and balance some long push days that I love to do with some relaxing days of single-digit miles. All friends and family we meet along the trail will be planned a week, at most, before we see them. There are no deadlines.

One of my favorite quotes right now is from Friedrich Nietzsche: “The end of a melody is not its goal.” Yes, reaching Katahdin is the destination, but it’s not everything. The stories I tell one day will be the moments in between—the rhythm of each day, the melody of the journey itself. I’ve always been obsessed with finishing, with checking things off the list, with being done. But this time, I want to embrace the unknown, to find joy in whatever unfolds along the way.

I’m flying to Georgia with one goal: to walk for as long as my legs will carry me. ¡Qué rico!-How rich! Life is all about perspective, and that realization alone alleviates a lot of my anxiety about injuries along the way.

The only thing that I am certain of is uncertainty. I am confident in my resilience from past flops and I am expecting to be humbled, in fact, I’m actually looking forward to it. The best way to learn how to thru-hike is to thru-hike. The best way to learn how to be alive, is to be alive. I delight in the moments I am offered, especially the ones that present contrast.

Thanks for reading, see you out there.